Sunday, January 20, 2008 »
9:05 PM
It feels like ur still here,u didnt go ,ur still here.ur presence still lingers here. day by day i think of u.the thought of u makes me feel tingly inside.though ur still happy there.u look like u dun miss us a single bit.all u think abt now is ur present and not ur past.where have those memories gone too.is it lying somewhere way back in ur mind.When we come crashing down - midflight.You know you're not the only one.When we're so alone.We find a back door out of life.You know you're not the only one.We're all grieving.Lost and bleeding.All our lives.We've been waiting.For someone to call our leader.All your lies I'm not believing.Heaven shine a light down on me.So afraid to open your eyes - hypnotized.You know you're not the only one. Never understood this life. And you're right I don't deserve. But you know I'm not the only one . Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.Now I can't let go of this dream.I can't breathe but I feel.It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.Pour real life down on me.'Cause I can't hold on to anything this.Good enough.Am I good enough?.Then school starts.Playground school bell rings again.Rain clouds come to play again.Has no one told you she's not breathing?Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to.HelloIf I smile and don't believe.Soon I know I'll wake from this dream.Don't try to fix me I'm not broken.Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide.Don't cry.Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping.Hello, I'm still here. All that's left of yesterday.Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies. So I don't know what's real and what's not. Always confusing the thoughts in my head. So I can't trust myself anymore. I'm dying again.You poor sweet innocent thing .Dry your eyes and testify. You know you live to break me - don't deny. Sweet sacrifice.I dream in darkness. I sleep to die. Erase the silence. Erase my life. Our burning ashes. Blacken the day. A world of nothingness. Blow me away. Do you wonder why you hate?Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes? Please, please forgive me.But I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up and barely conscious you'll say to no one isn't something missing?You won't cry for my absence, I know you forgot me long ago Am I that unimportant?Am I so insignificant?Isn't something missing?Isn't someone missing me?Even though I'm the sacrifice you won't try for me, not now though I die to know you're still there I'm all alone .Isn't someone missing me?I can feel the night beginning. Separate me from the living. Understanding me. After all I've seen. Piecing every thought together. Find the words to make me better. If I only knew how to pull myself. I believe that dreams are sacred. Take my darkest fears and play them. Like a lullaby. Like a reason why. Like a play of my obsessions. Make me understand the lesson. So I'll find myself. So I won't be lost again. All that I'm living for. All that I'm dying for. All that I can't ignore alone at night . All that I'm wanted for. Although I wanted more. Lock the last open door. My ghosts are gaining on me apart. I can't see your star. Though I patiently waited, bedside. For the death of today. I can't see your star. The mechanical lights of Lisbon. Frightened it away. And I'm alone now. Me and all I stood for. We're wandering now. All in parts in pieces, swim lonely. Find your own way out.I'm alone now. Me and all I stood for. We're wandering now. All in parts in pieces, swim lonely. Find your own way out. So far away. It's growing colder without your love. Why can't you feel me calling your name? Can't break the silence .It's breaking me.All my fears turn into rage.Perfect by nature. Icons of self-indulgence. Just what we all need. More lies about a world that. Never was and never will be. Have you no shame, don't you see me. You know you've got everybody fooled. Look, here she comes now. Bow down and stare in wonder. Oh, how we love you. No flaws when you're pretending. But now I know she never was and never will be. You don't know how you've betrayed me. And somehow you've got everybody fooled. Without the mask, where will you hide. Can't find yourself, lost in your lie. I know the truth now. I know who you are. And I don't love you anymore. You don't know how you've betrayed me. And somehow you've got everybody fooled. It never was and never will be. You're not real and you can't save me....